Out here in southeastern South Dakota, we usually don't begin to get
any noticeable weather effects from east coast hurricanes until about
three weeks after they enter the continental shore lines and break up
inland. Then torrential downpours come in from the south and wet humid
weather begins to resemble life in the "Twilight Zone" as colds and flu
symptoms appear and fade and the shadowy gloom of a semitropical
depression struggles with southward flowing Canadian cold fronts until
there is very little difference between the dreaming and waking states
of consciousness. A two-week tsunami, or tidal wave, of mental
schizophrenia drops on the Midwest, drains emotions and tempers, and, of
course, stops most outdoor activities like construction work, sports,
and harvesting. Everything comes to a standstill as people wander around
looking at each other thinking of having a good seafood dinner at a
restaurant or maybe wearing their swimsuits to bed, out of sympathy for
the hurricane victims. By then it is usually Halloween and time to get
ready for when the snow flies.
The time is spent this way to get over the guilty feelings Midwesterners
have when they hear that the east coast is in trouble again, and there
is not much we can do to help. Even with all this prairie space around
us, we just can't be sure if we should invite refugees to shelter with
us for a few weeks, because cyclones are the dread weather phenomenon
out here, and what if we invited strangers to hide out, and a tornado
came and blew the shelter away. Now, that's embarrassing. Besides,
stormy weather in the Midwest usually means relatives will be dropping
by from Minnesota or Wisconsin and every bed and sofa in the house will
be occupied for the duration. Go figure. But we have felt a difference
out here in this latest build to weather disaster on the east coast.
Hurricane Isabel is taking up electrical energy like a giant sponge. Our
famous Midwestern iron shelf and shallow magnetic field is crammed into
an arc that is raising welts and hives and itching skin rashes all
across the northern bible belt, as it apparently is the opposite
polarity of the counterclockwise Isabel's stormy rotation, fresh out of
near contact with the Bermuda Triangle and drawing huge amounts of
Midwestern electro-magnetism toward the hurricane as if feeding on
lightning surge gigavolt potential and seeking to arm itself with a
fully loaded phaser set to pummel the Appalachian divide and turn the
entire eastern coast into a shower of streaming, sparking battle, like a
starship pouring down revenge on an planet that has fired on it from
below.
We have very little time, and probably no ability, to program the energy
surge reaching to Isabel from the Great Plains over a thousand miles
away. Only the vastly educated in the ways of civilized progress, those
who adjust by organized media electric output, and input response
conversation, can get to transmitter controls and begin to equalize the
grounding of their antennas to make the charging flow of the airwaves
anything that can be useful in making the most of human technology, and
turn a killer storm into a visitation by a well fed, well nurtured,
revitalized, well controlled, massive example of well disciplined
energy.
It will take a lot more than radio stations playing "Can't Get No
Satisfaction", by the Rolling Stones, a hundred times in the next two
days to turn Isabel away, but at least it is a start. Melanie's "I've
Got A Brand New Pair Of Roller Skates" might help. However we need to
charge the skies with scientific and psychological magnetic potential
that has a great deal of Mister Spock's Star Trek famous, "Infinite
Diversity from Infinitely Changing Combinations, IDIC", logic in the
rising loosened magneto-electric grid surging eastward as well.
Most Midwesterners would rather mind their own business. And, who can
blame them? Isabel is a millennium storm, a once every thousand year
event for the east coast, and all who will be affected by the effects of
the storm across the continent. Even the course of mighty rivers, and
the state of electrical atomic content will change in subtle ways
because of Isabel's visit to that land on the other side of those old
mountains, the other side of the Blue Ridge. "Live long and prosper."
One might add, "Properly, and without delay, once again, into the fray."
On Friday September 19th, 2003, the Sioux Falls South Dakota Argus
Leader newspaper reported, "National Hurricane Center Director Max
Mayfield said fast-moving Isabel still posed a threat because of its
dimensions - about the size of Colorado - "This hurricane will not be
remembered for how strong it is. It will be remembered for how large it
is."
The storm spread rain across North Carolina and Virginia and into
Maryland, Delaware and parts of West Virginia and Pennsylvania.
On the Outer Banks, the storm destroyed the 540-foot Jennette's Pier in
Nags Head and (non-sequitur) at least two beach houses, where storm
surge picked up a washer, dryer and refrigerator and carried them about
500 feet down the street." I'm not trying to be overly critical here,
however accuracy is important. "About 500 feet...", up or down the
street, may be how far the appliances were carried, but if it was the
entire 540 foot length of Jennette's Pier they travelled, don't you
think the referees should use the chains to make an exact measurement?
Perhaps the refrigerator scored a touchdown. After all, Jennette's Pier
WAS built by a witch seeking to keep the Devil in touch with the lost
continent of Atlantis.
(say do you like to post messages an feel like a writer? well visit
http://mpr.org
or http://www.mpr.org
and take in the various forums from
Minnesota Public Radio like ChatterBox Cafe, the Lake Wobegon home of
fans of midwest humorist Garrison Keillor OR if you haven't a hankering
for the great midwest and you have read the newspaper, Dave Barry, the
almost daily satirical columnist, runs a voluminous forum group
commenting on his humor and anything they like at
http://www.miamiherald.com
Just follow the menu to Message Boards and
jump in. OR for more serious yet variable content posting there's always
http://www.cbsmarketwatch.com
message boards, where the jist is politics
and the stockmarket, but, who knows, American capitalism is always
looking for fresh ideas even if you don't know a Senate Seat from a
Market Rally. Oh, and yeah, http://www.firesigntheatre.com
is alive and
well but I have found any discussions in progress. Just let them do the
punny er funfunny town stuff in there. Wanna visit Congress? Drop by
http://thomas.loc.gov
or http://www.thomas.loc.gov
whichever works for
you. Thomas Jefferson is there with daily Congressional Calendars and
"Write your representatives" links for EVERYBODY. Good Luck)
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