oldmadbadger wrote:
> One slightly (ab)used kitten : two careless owners.
>
> Description : black and white hat on head, dirty face, smells of ****.
>
> Answers to the name of : Schmoo, ****face, Hey You Get Down Off There !
and
> What The **** Do You Think
> You're Doing Now You Stupid Retarded Feline !
If it doesn't respond to Stinky, Smellycat, Stupid or Princess *****kins
of Pomerania, I ain't interested.
> Mileage : 6 months on the clock.
>
> Condition :Good, no major defects, prone to sucking on hairy sweaters
until
> thoroughly soaked.
Sounds my kind of cat. I'm not that hairy, but I do sweat a lot.
> Eats : Catfood, Crackers, Curry, Condiments, Crusty French Bread,
Chillies,
> and anything else it can cram into its furry little face
> before vomiting all over the hall carpet.
Hmm...it's not so much vomiting as laying down a line of half-digested
meat. A bit like a sausage machine that hasn't been provided with skins.
Ideal consistency for getting right between the toes of a half-asleep
human in the dark.
> Likes : Crying piteously for hours on end, Tripping people on stairs,
Loose
> bowel movements, Kangaroo boxing with other cats, Waking humans at 6
a.m.
>
> Dislikes : Being a cat, Litter trays, Affection, Going outdoors, Moving
any
> great distance, Not eating for more than ten minutes at a time.
>
> High maintenance, expensive, unforgiving, crude attention seeking device
> seeks considerate lunatic to furnish life of luxury, only cat crazy
idiots
> need apply to :
Look, is this an advert for a cat or the owner?
>
forgodstaketakeitawayivehadenoughwhydidieveragreetothis@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>
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