One slightly (ab)used kitten : two careless owners.
Description : black and white hat on head, dirty face, smells of ****.
Answers to the name of : Schmoo, ****face, Hey You Get Down Off There !
and
What The **** Do You Think
You're Doing Now You Stupid Retarded Feline !
Mileage : 6 months on the clock.
Condition :Good, no major defects, prone to sucking on hairy sweaters
until
thoroughly soaked.
Eats : Catfood, Crackers, Curry, Condiments, Crusty French Bread,
Chillies,
and anything else it can cram into its furry little face
before vomiting all over the hall carpet.
Likes : Crying piteously for hours on end, Tripping people on stairs,
Loose
bowel movements, Kangaroo boxing with other cats, Waking humans at 6 a.m.
Dislikes : Being a cat, Litter trays, Affection, Going outdoors, Moving
any
great distance, Not eating for more than ten minutes at a time.
High maintenance, expensive, unforgiving, crude attention seeking device
seeks considerate lunatic to furnish life of luxury, only cat crazy idiots
need apply to :
forgodstaketakeitawayivehadenoughwhydidieveragreetothis@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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