Christmas Cake Recipe
It is getting to that time of year when the Christmas cake needs to be
made.
Here is a very easy recipe to follow:
Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 magnum Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit
Method:
Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl; check the vodka again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
Try another cup .... just in case
Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl; and chuck in the cup of dried fruit
Pick fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, prize it loose with a
screwscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a ****.
Check the vodka.
Now ****ft the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Stir in a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and
kick the cat.
Fall into bed.
CHERRY MISTMAS!
