oldmadbadger wrote:
> "Nexie" <greenknight@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:jrcWf.23180$814.9443@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> I would like to apologise to everyone for my previous message, which
>> judging by the hundreds of non-existant, outraged responses, offended
lots
>> of non-people. And to all those people who sent me large sums of cash
and
>> promises of fidelity to me as the new Messiah, I'll be giving you a
full
>> refund; the cheque's in the post.
>> I regret that I know about netiquette, but I think you're all gullible
>> buffoons, so I know I can get away with saying anything as long as I
>> apologise afterwards. Maybe I'm Catholic. Perhaps I'm just a shallow,
>> money-grubbing little weasel hiding behind a cloak of philanthropy. Who
>> knows, or cares?
>>
>> Yours apologetically,
>>
>> A. Twatt, esq.
>
> I find your apologies nauseatingly condescending and quite frankly I
will
> not be subscribing to any more of your get-dead-quick schemes, I was
> embarassed at finding myself still alive this morning to say the least,
my
> better half had sold the car and moved in a lodger already in
anticipation
> of my timely demise, my parents were quite literally mortified by my
> appearance at my own wake and my overdraft limit has been reinstated at
the
> bank. The availability of countless virgins attending to my every
perverted
> whim is no consolation and I feel completely cheated by your arrogant
> attitude to my continuing existence, next time you promise someone a
seat at
> the right hand of God, I think they deserve something better than just
> another day in rain soaked ***bria watching the locals spinning yarns
from
> Herdwick sheep. You are, in short, a charlatan of the worst kind, a
rogue
> who obviously exploits the gullible wanderers of the interweb for your
own
> nefarious ends, and your pathetic excuses for my still inhabiting this
veil
> of tears and for the harm you have brought upon my family and colleagues
is
> simply scandalous. I shall be forwarding a full description of your
> activities to Nicky Campbell (hallowed be his name) and possibly You and
> Yours on Radio Four if I can find my red crayon.
>
> Are you by any chance a Scientologist ?
>
> Yours (unfortunately it appears to be in perpetuity)
>
> badger XXX
Be at peace, my son. You have made the common mistake of confusing
***bria with Purgatory. The difference being, there is an escape from
Purgatory.
The immolation of your sins may be accelerated by reading the venerable
works of Iain Banks (or Iain M. Banks if you have Scientology leanings).
He is the True Prophet of the Second Coming of Nexie (whether he likes
it or not).
"Why ever did you leave?" - Rik Mayall (on Ade Edmondson's hamming-it-up
for his home audience of Southampton during a live performance of Bottom)
"I found the train station"
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