Very accurate IJM, you have captured the devious essence of the feline
mind,
so much so that i feel i must add an extract from my own furry felon's
diary - i can assure you that all the pertinent details of the following
extract are entirely true as recounted ...
"March 15th 2006
The Feeders have suc***bed once again to one of their periodic if
infrequent
bouts of mawkish sentimentality regarding their steward****p of my regal
self, usually brought about by gazing at their inferior and selfish
offspring or listening to music made by something called The Verve and
consented to my lying inert upon their nest all night while they engage in
some frenzied but ultimately pointless extended physical exertions, which
they regard as some variety of "treat" for myself.
As usual the feeders expect in return some form of piteous gratitude
(which,
as an infamous feeder named Stalin once remarked - "gratitude is a dog's
disease"). I, of course, repaid them for their pathetic indulgence by
stealing away in the dead of night and strolling into their bathroom and
crapping all over one of their towels which were artfully strewn all over
the floor, these feeders are such untidy pigs. As is the feline way, I
then
carefully rolled up said towel, hiding the evidence from prying feeder
eyes.
You can imagine my delight, dear reader, on the following morning when the
female of the feeder species proceeded to bathe, step out of the hideous
water receptacle and grab the nearest discarded towel and proceed to rub
herself vigorously in the waste products from my pert little anus ...
You should have heard the commotion that ensued ! Which, of course, I
watched from the windowledge outside the bathroom, with a smug and
thoroughly well deserved smirk upon my gorgeous features ...
Well ... I had to make amends in order to be fed again within the
following
week so I delivered a freshly killed mouse in the middle of the kitchen
floor the very next day, the feeders were suitably impressed by my feral
skills and agreed never to let my paws blacken their duvet again, such is
the hunter's life ... what docile retards they are ...
Catalina XXX "
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