oldmadbadger wrote:
> in my case, only my grandmother ... she spent ww2 working in a munitions
> factory where she tested sten guns, the idea of my nan standing there
with a
> sten gun shooting from the hip is an enduring image and one which never
> fails to crease me up ... she also survived being bommbed out of two
houses
> in Liverpool in 1940, on both occasions refusing to leave the house for
the
> safety of the anderson shelter where she made my father sleep and on the
> second occasion sleeping through a bomb taking the entire back wall off
her
> bedroom so when she woke up she was staring straight into the garden and
the
> bed was covered in rubble ... they don't make them like that anymore,
she is
> now approaching 101 and is as sound as a bell and as sharp as a pin and
has
> an 84 year old toyboy in her nursing home who dotes on her, i love her
to
> bits
Old folk are brilliant aren't they? Did you see Nigel Havers on Wogan:
Now and Then? (I only watched for Ade Edmondson). One of his anecdotes
was about researching his role for a doctor character he was playing. He
observed 7 open-heart surgeries, the last of which was an old lady
having a heart-bypass op. The surgeon asked the lady if she minded if
Nigel Havers attended the operation, to which she replied "Nigel Havers?
Lovely! But you will be supervising, won't you doctor?". Bless.
My Gran always gave me 10p (long after 10p wouldn't buy you anything, in
such a conspiratorial way, like a politician taking a back-hander) and
rock-hard chocolate from the fridge when I visited.
> what is it with kids these days ?, (boy i'm turning into such a
misanthropic
> old scrote) hanging around off licences with hoodies on, dangling from
their
> skate boards and knifing each other for their mobile phones, bring back
> national service i say, at their age i was at home building airfix
models
> and watching blue peter on a black and white television in my tank top
...
The first time we had a colour TV, there were only black & white
programmes on all 3 (!) channels. That kind of thing is very confusing
for a child.
> i blame the oestrogenic isophenols in the water supply myself ... "kids
with
> guns ... mesmerised skeletons"
G-sides and the dub remixes of Laika vs Spacemonkeys are recommended if
you like Gorillaz.
Maybe kids are over 6' tall by the time they're teenagers these days
because of the change in diet from 50 years ago, but I can't help
feeling it's something to do with all the growth hormones and stuff fed
to livestock. You are what you eat.
>> Let's see how long that takes to do the rounds. My record so far is an
>> appallingly bad joke that I made up when I was 14, and was repeated to
me
>> in a pub 17 years later. The sad thing was, it was so bad I didn't want
to
>> claim responsibility for it. That, and the reasonable possibility that
>> someone else also made it up.
>>
>> In the interest of science, see if you've heard it (and I apologise
>> whole-heartedly for this)...
>>
>> Q: How do you get 4 Anytown* girls on a stool?
>>
>> A: Turn it upside-down.
>>
>> *insert local sleazy area here
>
> i think i heard that in london circa 1980
Phew! That pre-dates me by 4 years. Thank god. I'm not responsible after
all.
> have you heard about the zen buddhist who goes into mcdonalds and says
"make
> me one with everything"
If a joke is told in a forest with no-one to laugh, is it funny?
A polar bear walks into a pub and says "a pint of............beer, please"
The barman says, "Why the big pause?"
A drunk walks into a pub with a monkey on his shoulder. The barman asks
"Where did you get that?"
The monkey says "Newcastle, they're all over the place there".
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