"Nexie" <greenknight@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:TYUEf.3305$Dn4.2729@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> oldmadbadger wrote:
>> "oldmadbadger" <oldmadbadger57@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> news:43e3e12f$1_3@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>>><mmward@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>>>news:5739-43E2FB33-979@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>>
>>>>"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" - my English teacher at school
>>>>"That's ok, I have the lowest form of mind, that's why you're teaching
>>>>me" - me, shortly before detention.
>>>>"and the highest form of intelligence "
>>>>
>>>>And the lowest form of being a person, as in "personality". No one
>>>>here has one.
>>>>
>>>>G'head, be as sarcastic as you want, we all have that capability. If
>>>>you're surrounded by only the sarcastic, like here, ...good for you.
>>>>it's what you want.
>>>>
>>>>In a personal life, I think it would be a hurtful, draining. If
that's
>>>>the life you want, you got it here.
>>>>Again, thanks for the insight. Very telling...
>>>>
>>>>Love,
>>>>
>>>>Mildred
>>>
>>>
>>>anyway Nexie, what were we talking about before we were rudely
>>>interrupted ?
>>>
>>>Vicious, Nasty, Bile Spitting Antagonism,
>>>
>>>badger XXX
>>
>>
>> from Kurt Vonnegut's new autobiography "A Man Without a Country"
>>
>> "Humour is an almost physiological response to fear. Freud said that
>> humour is a response to frustration - one of several. A dog, he said,
>> when he can't get out a gate, will scratch and start digging and making
>> meaningless gestures, perhaps growling or whatever, to deal with
>> frustration or surprise or fear. And a great deal of laughter is
induced
>> by fear ... while we were we being bombed in Dresden, sitting in a
cellar
>> with our arms over our heads in case the ceiling fell, one soldier said
>> as though he were a duchess in a mansion on a cold and rainy night, " I
>> wonder what the poor people are doing tonight ". Nobody laughed, but we
>> were still all glad he said it. At least we were still alive ! He
proved
>> it."
>
> Excellent. It reminds me of Spike Milligan's war memoirs. It's been a
> while since I read them, but the most memorable (mis)quote for me was
> Spike's take on one of his oppo's diary entries whilst serving in India
(I
> think) -
>
> " 'I saw a man squatting down in the middle of the street in the middle
of
> the day, answering a call of nature, without comment' - what did he
expect
> him to say? "Ole!" ?"
>
> Bless you Spike.
indeed, my favourite story of his was when he disembarked in Egypt and at
the bottom of the gangplank was a medical orderly handing out one condom
to
each soldier "bloody hell" sez millgan "it's going to be short war !"
>
>> The way the world is going to hell in a handcart these days, in my more
>> romantic moments of self delusion, I like to think that Nexie and
myself
>> and our ilk are just soldiers in the foxhole laughing at the bombs
>> falling on our heads ... at least we're still alive !
>
> Shhhh! Don't mention the ilk. They're endangered and apparently
harvesting
> antlers for homeopathic..ahem...remedies is illegal. If it wasn't for
> those pesky Greenpeace kids, I would've got away with it.
>
> Love the idea of laughing my tits off in a foxhole, by the way. What a
> mind**** for anyone who heard it! Of course, if you were an officer, I'd
> have to shoot you in the back when we got the order to go over the top.
> Sorry and all that, but I have "a problem with authority" apparently. I
> can't see it myself; I have no problem with authority, I just haven't
met
> anyone yet that I would grant authority over me.
in my case, only my grandmother ... she spent ww2 working in a munitions
factory where she tested sten guns, the idea of my nan standing there with
a
sten gun shooting from the hip is an enduring image and one which never
fails to crease me up ... she also survived being bommbed out of two
houses
in Liverpool in 1940, on both occasions refusing to leave the house for
the
safety of the anderson shelter where she made my father sleep and on the
second occasion sleeping through a bomb taking the entire back wall off
her
bedroom so when she woke up she was staring straight into the garden and
the
bed was covered in rubble ... they don't make them like that anymore, she
is
now approaching 101 and is as sound as a bell and as sharp as a pin and
has
an 84 year old toyboy in her nursing home who dotes on her, i love her to
bits
>
> I don't know if you've seen the various "problem teens get sent to some
> brainwa****ng camp in the middle of nowhere" programmes on TV, but what
> kind of rebels are these kids supposed to be? Haven't they heard of
hunger
> strike? Kids round our way would have made a weapon and left a trail of
> bodies if sent to one of those places. But no, they just whine and cry
and
> knuckle under. The only kid I had any respect for was the little ****
who
> played the game and then just went back to nicking cars and selling
drugs
> when he got home, and that's not good, big or clever.
>
> I blame TV and Playstation. If kids didn't have violent films and games
> they'd have no outlet for their teenage angst and would have to be
proper
> bastards like we had in the good old days. It's only a matter of time
> before kids in Amish communities progress beyond drugs and teenage
> pregnancy to escape and go on a mad rampage of zip-using murder.
what is it with kids these days ?, (boy i'm turning into such a
misanthropic
old scrote) hanging around off licences with hoodies on, dangling from
their
skate boards and knifing each other for their mobile phones, bring back
national service i say, at their age i was at home building airfix models
and watching blue peter on a black and white television in my tank top ...
>
> I know this isn't true, but I'll say it anyway and pretend I heard it
from
> a friend of my cousin's boyfiend's sister, in the true style of urban
> myths and the hope that it will become fact by virtue of common
> knowledge - "Charles Manson was an Amish lay preacher who was driven
> insane by his inability to use hooks-and-eyes on his clothing and a
> chemical imbalance which could have been rectified by exposure to low
> levels of radiation such as those emitted by televisions".
i blame the oestrogenic isophenols in the water supply myself ... "kids
with
guns ... mesmerised skeletons"
> Let's see how long that takes to do the rounds. My record so far is an
> appallingly bad joke that I made up when I was 14, and was repeated to
me
> in a pub 17 years later. The sad thing was, it was so bad I didn't want
to
> claim responsibility for it. That, and the reasonable possibility that
> someone else also made it up.
>
> In the interest of science, see if you've heard it (and I apologise
> whole-heartedly for this)...
>
> Q: How do you get 4 Anytown* girls on a stool?
>
> A: Turn it upside-down.
>
> *insert local sleazy area here
i think i heard that in london circa 1980
have you heard about the zen buddhist who goes into mcdonalds and says
"make
me one with everything"
badger XXX
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