You know, something has been playing on my mind since Mildredtroll first
posted on this newsgroup; I naturally assumed that from the brash and
arrogant content and style of "her" postings that mmward was a man. I
must admit that I was quite surprised to learn that Mildred is a 70+
year-old woman (5 minutes on the internet really doesn't constitute
stalking by the way, especially when the subject practically begged to
be "Googled").
"Odd", I thought. And to learn that "she" has a job too, and
predominantly posts around midnight or later (allowing for time
difference) didn't really suggest a lady past retirement age. Nor does a
zealous attraction to Eddie Izzard, a well-known transvestite whom most
Americans don't really find funny (apologies to Merkin cousins for the
generalisation, but Brit humour does not translate well over the
Atlantic, hence the terrible parodies of classic comedy like Dear John
and The Office).
Apparently Mildred isn't married (a quick check in the internet phone
listings shows that Mildred is listed as the bill payer, again odd for a
married lady of that age who would most likely be old-fa****oned enough
to have her husband's name listed), but rates family highly, almost
bragging about it as though trying to conceal something shameful.
Then (as it often does whilst relaxing in the bath) the light clicked
on. Here's my theory:
Mildredtroll isn't Mildred at all. She's probably a perfectly
respectable old lady, who has a son of around 30-50 (I guess about 40)
years who lives at home with his mother. Maybe there was a father at
some time on the scene - is this his fondness for the family, chasing
something that was missing? Or maybe father was present, but did things
that Daddy said were ok, but really weren't? Perhaps his fanaticism for
Eddie stems from his own longings to be able to dress as a woman and be
accepted in society, or are they just feelings of confused ***uality
brought on by lack of success with women, aggravated by having to care
for his elderly mother? Does Ma Ward even know how to use webtv? I doubt
she knows her doting son uses her name to troll about when she's safely
tucked up in bed.
So there you have it - I accuse Norman Bates, in the drawing room, with
the candlestick.
Admittedly, the only person who will truly know (or care) is "Mildred"
herself, but I thought it might interest anyone who had similar doubts
why a woman would behave like a bitter, attention-seeking middle-aged man.
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