Zaphon B. wrote:
> What! don't tell me you're another one of these foreign commie scum are
you
> Curmudgeon?
>
> Z.
Commies are no longer the invisible enemy. It's terrorists (or "terrists"
to quote Dubya) now
>
> "Curmudgeon" <briticanlankey@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:Xavmc.16311$fE.11062@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>>RESUME
>> George W. Bush
>> The White House, USA
>>
>> EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>>
>> LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunk****t, Maine, in 1976 for
>> driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine,
>> and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
>> record has been "lost" and is not available.
>>
>> MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I
>> refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
>> By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat
>> duty in Vietnam.
>>
>> COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was
>> a cheerleader.
>>
>> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>>
>> I ran for US Congress and lost.
>>
>> I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I
>> bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company
>> went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
>>
>> I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal using
>> taxpayer money.
>>
>> With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
>> industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of
>> Texas.
>>
>>
>> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
>>
>> I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
>> making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
>>
>> During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
>> city in America.
>>
>> I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
>> in borrowed money.
>>
>> I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
>> history.
>>
>> With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
>> appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
>> over 500,000 votes.
>>
>>
>> ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
>>
>> I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
>> billion dollars per week.
>>
>> I spent the US surplus and effectively bankrupted the US Treasury.
>>
>> I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in US history.
>>
>> I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
>> 12-month period.
>>
>> I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
>> US stock market.
>>
>> I am the first President in US history to enter office with a criminal
>> record.
>>
>> I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
>> period.
>>
>> After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
>> security failure in US history.
>>
>> I am sup****ting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
>> WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction).
>>
>> In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
>> attacking Iraq, and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
>>
>> I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a US
>> President.
>>
>> In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs
>> and that trend continues every month.
>>
>> I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
>>
>> I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
>> President in US history.
>>
>> I set the record for least number of press conferences of any
>> President since the advent of television.
>>
>> I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to
>> intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
>>
>> I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history.
>>
>> I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and sup****t a cut in
>> duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
>>
>> I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
>> simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people),
>> shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of
>> mankind.
>>
>> I've broken more international treaties than any President in US
>> history.
>>
>> I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
>> administration in US history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza
>> Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
>>
>> I am the first President in US history to order an unprovoked,
>> preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I
>> did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of US
>> citizens, and the world community.
>>
>> I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
>> in the history of the United States government.
>>
>> I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations
>> remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
>>
>> I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law.
>>
>> I refused to allow inspector's access to US "prisoners of war"
>> detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
>>
>> I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
>> inspectors (during the 2002 US election).
>>
>> I am the all-time US and world record-holder for receiving the most
>> cor****ate campaign donations.
>>
>> My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
>> Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest cor****ate bankruptcy fraud in
>> US history. My political party used Enron private jets and cor****ate
>> attorneys to assure my success with the US Supreme Court during my
>> election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and
>> Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money
>> was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
>> investigating one of the biggest cor****ate rip-offs in history.
>>
>> I garnered the most sympathy for the US after the World Trade Center
>> attacks and less than a year later made the US the most hated country
>> in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
>>
>> I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
>> (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
>> security.
>>
>> I changed the US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
>> government contracts.
>>
>> I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and
>> Saddam Hussein to justice.
>>
>>
>> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>>
>> All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
>> library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
>>
>> All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
>> bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
>> view.
>>
>> All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-president,
>> attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
>> unavailable for public review.
>>
>> Please consider my experience when voting in 2004.
>>
>> Send this to every voter you know.
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>
--
--------------
Peace,
Delta Nine
Fate and Karma have intensely focused American stupidity, greed, gluttony,
and foolish nationalism into one finely-honed and monkey-headed pontiff.
- DancingLavoisier
Life is very difficult. Once you understand that, life becomes easier.
-Buddha
I'm tellin' ya D9, you can't go wrong with gallons and gallons of urine.
- T.D. Shadow
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