19 March 2008 - Tracy Morgan, Chris Hansen, Paul Thorn
Jimmy Is:
Wednesday!
Introduction:
So many New York *** scandals. Jim McGreevy gay, had
threesomes. Your move, Spitzer. New Jersey mullets. Starbucks lines
long. Dalai Lama promised he'd quit being spiritual leader of Tibet the
moment it stopped being fun. Heather Mills awarded $48 million in
divorcing Paul McCarthy. She hopes to get on with her life and divorce
someone from The Who. Horton Hears a Who protests stupid. Bill Clinton
*****. La Bamba has a grape derby.
Conan O'Brien's St Patrick's Day Stew: web site, Conan o'Brien's
Irish-style potato chive pancakes. Conan announces recipes he may move:
Irish potato sundae. Boiled Celtic cabbage burger with potato garnish.
Cold irish Soup: Lucky Charms, milk, Guinness.
HBO's In Treatment: Conan's one of the therapy patients for the
show. Conan shows a clip. ``This mouth kissed Joy Behar!''
In The Year 2000, Tracy Morgan Edition:
- Former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer will announce he
resigned to spend more time with his family of hookers.
- To improve its image malt liquor will instead be referred to
as ``Ghetto Advil''.
- The cast of Broadway's The Little Mermaid will flee in horror
terror when Starr Jones enters the theater carryigng a tub of tartar
sauce.
- I, Tracy Morgan, will make it to the Olympics. The Olympics
of getting girls pregnant.
- During the NCAA basketball tournament it will be discovered
what people thought was the Duke mascot, the Blue Devil, was really Dick
Cheney having a heart attack.
- Yo, RoRo, don't forget to pick up Charika and Shadella at
McDonald's after their dance practice tomorrow. That wasn't a
prediction, I just know brother's watching.
- It will be clear just how bad the economy is when Lehman
Brothers is sold to Goldman-Saks for a six-pack of sprite and two
tickets to an Arena Football game.
- I will be the next black blind governor of New York. he's got
the black part down, now he just has to look at a ****d Alan Alda.
- The New York Mets will make everyone quickly forget last
year's late-season collapse when this year they collapse in spring
training.
- Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy will be involved in
yet another three-way. Meanwhile late night talk show host Conan
O'Brien will be involved in yet another one-way.
Tracy Morgan:
Semi-coherent political rambling. ***ist blather of the
pre-suffragette era. Elliot Spitzer, his man. Richard Nixon, on the
wall in his house. Also Bruce Lee. More rambling. He likes The Flavor
Of Love. He's in the paper for taking his ****rt off often. He's part
of the awful Superhero Movie. Doesn't respect The Incredible Hulk: he's
a drunk white dude in a bar. Hulk number not come out. Conan can't
process what's weirder, what he said or that he's getting dressed saying
it.
Chris Hansen:
He gets 'Predators' who're huge fans. First time probably he
had no idea how it'd go. Had to find the right '14-year-old' for the
arrived predator. Most ridiculous excuse: just coming here to babysit.
Many guys start talking about their problems. Now he's investigating
financial scams.
Paul Thorn:
- A Long Way from Tupelo: Long Way From Tupelo.
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