18 March 2008 - Ice T, Brian Posehn, Stars
Jimmy Is:
Predicting a boren-burg. (Barnburner.)
Introduction:
The new Governor of New York admitted to an affair; he's fitting
right in. Sheen goes to lots of prostitutes. John McCain old. Bill
Clinton *****. Coyote attacks are rising in New Jersey; coyotes have
developed a taste for track suits. Tiger Woods bought a $65-million,
9-bedroom seaside Hamptons mansion to live with his Swedish model wife.
But is he happy? Obese men have more trouble getting an erection except
in the buffet line at Sizzler.
Swedish fans in the audience. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is
its name in Sweden. It's all about making the face afterwards.
Instant Audience Upgrade: Nick and Chelsey. 2nd Lieutenant Page
Tim Borland takes them to the Sharper Image robotic chairs. Chelsey
finds it a little hard in the back. First class curtain. Conan-kissing
pillows. 10,000 Show Miles. Good for prizes (7,500 miles: an evening
with La Bamba.) (10,000 Miles: shuttle bus to Regis and Kelly Lee.)
You're as far as possible from Back-Row Bob. Breathing 100% fresh
Vigoda Air. Lap dance from ***iest cameraman, Oscar. Explosive
allegations whispered by Brian Williams.
Ice T:
His wife's **** in Playboy, with shoots from the subway. The
conductor knew something was going on. He and his wife are ****d for
'Gangsta Rap' cover. He loves Tupperware.
Bear Sterns Collapse:
La Bamba is stunned by it all. So, Dumb It Down For La Bamba:
lots of trouble explaining banks. Or 'they money bad, kaboom'. Conan
resorts to monkey noises. 'But my money good right?'
I thought they were going to resolve this by La Bamba asking a
sharp, detailed question.
Brian Posehn:
He's not a partyer. He gets violent at 'Party Like A Rock
Star'. Might use time travel to stop the first person who said it.
'Party Like Van Halen, 78-83' cooler than now. Now he looks like
Gollum.
Looked himself up on Wikipedia. His page was mostly nice, with
'his freakish looks and shameless climbing' added by a hater. He
re-edited it to say his ***** tastes like gummi bears, which no one will
fact-check.
Cats run in on them in bed. Does his wife have to be there when
he masturbates?
Stars:
In Our Bedroom After The War: Take Me To The Riot
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