17 March 2008 - Martha Stewart, Lance Krall, Billy Bragg
Jimmy Is:
Irrelevant.
Introduction:
Saint Patrick's Day Parade: started on 44th street, ended in
rehab. the Prime Minister of Ireland called for moderate drinking, and
everyone laughed and laughed. Jim McGreevy is gay. Hillary Clinton's
war with Barack Obama to cost a trillion dollars; more true than funny.
John McCain old. Halle Barry gave birth to a girl; the baby is fine,
and the mother is superfine. Charlie Sheen *****. Remembrance to those
lost today: bar fight deaths. Exploded livers. Drownings (own vomit).
Grenade-related. Tried to fight police horse. Could be predicted, but
funny.
(Jimmy bets U2 too drunk to notice their playing 'In The Name Of
Love'.)
Good Housekeeping:
Conan feels exploited. Conan O'Brien's Saint Patrick's Day
Stew. They made it up. It shakes Conan's confidence. Matthew Fox's
Monkey Smoothie?
Typical Irish Dinner From Conan's Youth Reenactment:
They don't eat as fast as you'd figure for a huge family.
Potato O'Brien from YouTube:
Irish line dancing. Either a potato with fungus or the
Masturbating Bear in potatoes.
Joel's got a beard. And a s****.
Notre Dame's new mascot:
The Debating Irish, on the merits of a national health car
system.
Martha Stewart:
Conan's really Chip Whitley. She's making yarn from her dog's
fur; she lacks sheep. This woman spins yarn of provided furs. She has
her own ham. She bought two million hogs. Conan guesses four hams to
each hog.
Cooking demonstration, with whiskey. Conan finds Irish soda
bread dry. Stewart slabs on butter. Guinness And Bass Ale blended.
Stewart hypotizes Conan with a shamrock cookie. Conan tries various
things which are not alcohol. Irish whiskey glaze very good. Conan
extends the commercial break so he can eat more ham.
Lance Krall:
Does a show where he plays a moronic DJ. Sits awkwardly. How
to get celebrities when the show's starting out? Personal favors.
Food. Ride. They stole Conan's idea. Wife is character inspiration:
is she insulted? He promised not to bring it up, but Conan did. Very
smart, but social dingbat. She didn't know what 'snafu' means. She was
trying to start a catchphrase. She didn't know snafu had been a word
since World War II.
His mother was a spy; who woos the CIA? His father a navy
pilot. She got an FBI manhunt and CIA participation because he was late
home one day.
Billy Bragg:
Mr Love and Justice: I Keep Faith In You (I imagine: Amazon.com
doesn't have a list of the CD's songs yet. Something with that as a
refrain, though.)
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