12 March 2008 - Snoop Dogg, Carson Daly
Jimmy Is:
Wearing a tie that matches his guitar.
Introduction:
Elliot Spitzer had to write a letter of resignation. Out of
habit he addressed it ``Dear Penthouse''. Bill Clinton horny. John
McCain old: their take until McCain gets a whore. Colorado woman fined
for dyeing her poodle pink: poodles look gay. Jamie Lynn Spears
pregnant. Larry King old. Obese men don't deserve sex.
Walkover: Up for the Down Stroke, George Clinton. Conan heard
'Clooney'.
New York City TV covered endlessly the Governor's car driving
around, preempting almost all of The Price is Right. He stops at The Ho
Depot. Goes into a tunnel repeatedly.
Pierre Bernard: had a problem with last night's take-out. Left
a voice mail message describing his issues. Ruth: ``when I bit into it
something poked my tongue and now it's hurting a little''. In the pasta
with the meat. It's hurting. He threw it in the trash. He'll talk to
Ruth tomorrow. His tongue doesn't seem injured now.
In The Year 2000: Snoop Dogg Edition.
- President Bush will finally admit the country is in recession
when the border patrol catches thousands of Americans sneaking into
Mexico to wash dishes.
- I, Snoop Dogg, will change my name to Snoop Doggowicz when I
quit smoking weed and start smoking salmon.
- The popular Backstreet Boys will reunite when Arby's knocks
down the wall between its fry cooks and its shake makers.
- The Atlanta Thrashers will defeat the Columbus Blue Jackets
with a thrilling third-period buzzer-beater. Those are hockey teams, by
the way. Remember hockey?
- NBC will replace their reality show My Dad Is Better Than Your
Dad with the much more realistic, Our Network IS In Much Worse Shape
Than Your Network.
- Presidential candidates will stop catering to powerful
superdelegates and start focusing on more powerful delegates like
Snooperdelegates.
- In a bizarre coincidence zoologists will note that camel
vaginas look just like human toes.
- Elliot Spitzer's wife Silva will get back at ther husband by
driving down to New York City and getting a little shoom-shoom from
Snoop Doog.
Snoop Dogg:
He's relaxed. Yoga is, to him, crossing his legs and sitting
upright. He likes the yoga instructor posing. Vacuuming and cleaning
relax. His youngest son, 11, is just in it for the money, and Dogg
doesn't know what he does with it. Maybe in his lizard tank.
Hosted European Video Music Awards in Germany. No cat soup. He
made a kilt work. Did a country album finally. Dogg orders Conan to
dance to it.
Carson Daly:
7 years as host? Wow. Dogg's bodyguard is like 11 people
lashed together. His show gets kicked out of places a lot. 8-H, 6-A,
3-K for an electrical-fire visit from Snoop Dogg. Tom Brokaw got a
contact high; Libya was invaded by lizards.
Carson plays a lot of golf, particularly with celebrities. One
year, paired with Kenny G. Excellent golfer. Carson got to drinking
beer, 9 am, as he was bad.
He bought a motorcycle. Studied for written permit and had to
take both the motorcycle license test *and* the driver's license test.
Feared losing both and his mom would have to pick him up.
Wants Saint Patrick's Day to be official holiday.
Snoop Dogg:
Ego Trippin': Life of da Party, I think.
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