-- and this might end the strike summaries, depending:
4 February 2008 - Ann Curry, Mike Epps, OneRepublic
Max is:
Missing.
Introduction:
Conan was disappointed in the Super Bowl, but the turtle rocket
predicted a Giants win so Conan's happy.
Max is sick. Sean Pelp is sitting in.
Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart rivalry: Conan promises violence;
Colbert and Stewart enter. It's Go Time. Conan has a bat, Stewart
fingers a pencil. Stewart talks the bat out of Conan's hands. Things
carry on somewhat cartoonishly. Boxes of air go flying. Conan welds.
There's a lot of dropping stunt doubles down stairs. They dance. Mike
Huckabee calls for the nation to forget these idiots.
Ann Curry:
Do they pay Today show folks by the hour?
Bungee jumping is fun once you know you'll survive. Why not
just give money to charity rather than make her jump off the bridge
first? Conan doesn't want to get into the bungee-jumping trend.
Why do they send her to Antarctica? Some environment thing to
get frostbite.
Political Super Tuesday Primary talk #4, emphasis on the special
effects. And she doesn't even get Wednesday off after working till 2 am
Tuesday.
Mike Epps:
James Earl Jones has a sense of humor about his voice.
Shreveport, Louisiana is so small it doesn't have a stop sign,
just a guy who jumps out to warn you to slow down. Some anecdote about
a guy who wasn't even a cop.
Presidential primary opinions. He figures on Bill Clinton's sex
life.
He's a family man, according to the pre-interview. Those kids,
they want the toys you can't get!
OneRepublic:
Dreaming Out Loud: Stop And Stare
--------
5 February 2008 - Michael Strahan, Sarah Bolger, Sheryl Crow
Max Is:
Practicing for hours.
Introduction:
Conan tries crying to be more popular, using the prop glasses.
Produces the Shroud of Turin.
Super Fat Tuesday Voting Booth.
Interview: Bruce Brumage. Bruce laughs unsurely about Conan
doing a Charles Nelson Reilly impersonation. Bruce finds Conan's outfit
all right, but does't like the beard. Conan's old to be a model. A
stripper collar is a collar for a stripper. They argue bathing suit
sizes. Bag of six Grouch masks. Some ski goggles. They have huge bug
sunglasses. Conan's old shirts are in back. The helmet isn't very
good. They have a huge Groucho mask. Ski gear is too big for Conan.
They find 'In Living Color' wear, which were probably made seriously.
Bruce explains how comedy in clothing works. A jacket with removable
sleeves is here. They work up a spacesuit and a Reilly-esque
roowoowooooo. ``You hate me, don't you?'' ``Right now, I do.''
Super Fat Guy Eating a Super Size McDonald's Meal On The Super
Fat Tuesday Voting Booth. He has a New Jersey 'tattoo'' on his chest.
Michael Strahan:
Made it in time to be our first NOT OUR SECOND guest. A page
watches the elevator door nervously.
They were 3-2 first time Strahan was here; maybe he's good luck,
but then Conan can't go back to Boston.
It's surreal.
They figured how to play against the Patriots. They found an inner calm.
They play through pain thanks to medication.
They had a parade that preempted The Price is Right.
Sarah Bolger:
She brought her own Giants cap. She hasn't seen the game.
British actors can do American accents. Americans can't do
British accents.
Her dad's a butcher.
Conan's parents lied about when he could get his driver's permit.
Sheryl Crow:
Detours: Love is Free
She didn't actually think you needed only one square of toilet
paper. She saw an invention to use detachable sleeves for wiping off
noses, and maybe that could apply to toilet paper.
--------
6 February 2008 - The Great Throwdini, Donny Deutsch, The Dillinger Escape
Plan
Max is:
Supposed to be the easy part of the show.
Introduction:
Obama accused Clinton of frequently changing positions. Clinton
said, ``I wish.'' Conan has dancers in. Arnold Schwarzenneger says
Republicans have to be more like him, so Mitt Romney talked funny. John
McCain's travelling with his mother, and Bill Clinton is horny. Conan's
never doing anything without the Force of Nature Dance Troupe.
Ring spinning: 40 seconds. Why couldn't Suzie lie? She tries.
Next try: 36 seconds.
Conan got a Safety Tube: mask, whistle, light stick, water
pouch. Late Night realized: this is everything you need for a rave.
Conan was feeling sick. He went to NBC Medical Center and Dr
Tanya Bennison. He feels uninvolved in the political process. He likes
the word diarrhea. ``Well, you're an amazing male specimen'' would be
great to have on camera. He has a lot of ear wax. The Medical Center
has an ER poster. He has a floppy heart valve, but no murmur. The have
wimpy Sudafed Conan can't make crystal meth out of.
The Great Throwdini with Target Girl Tina:
+ The name sounds like a Muppet Show sketch.
Quite a bit of tossing. Conan's floppy heart can't take it.
The mask over his head, ``that's gonna make it hard to see.'' Tina taps
a few spots to be thrown to, and drops the knife once. Tina's put
behind a sheet of paper.
Audience volunteer? Nah -- LaBamba. They told him LaBamba.
``Get ready for the biggest wah-waah of all time.'' Balloons on his
arms and between his legs. LaBamba without the hat. Witha mask. They
fake him out. And yet his check for today will be no different.
Who does Conan trust more: a man with a knife or a woman with a
whip? Lady with a whip versus the flower in his teeth.
Donny Deutsch:
Super Bowl Ads; comedy ads, worth anything? Maybe not. Billy
Bob teeth: someone made $40 million on them. Videos on how to walk in
place at home. Pocket Shots of vodka.
Argument: successful people talk about their failures. Conan's
found intelligence correlates with saying 'I don't know'.
+ This was also observed by Edward R Murrow in his classic See
It Now program in the 1950s: a week spent at the Institute for Advanced
Study in Princeton included the observation that they never heard so
many grown men saying ``I don't know'' in their lives.
The Dillinger Escape Plan:
Ire Works: Absolutely no idea what tune this was. They rove
over to Conan's desk and Conan gets into the rave.
--------
7 February 2008 - Izabel Goulart, Len Berman, Nada Surf
Max Is:
Our best one of those ever.
Introduction:
Senior citizens are old. Force Of Nature dance theater. A
Floridian named Harry Potter is annoyed by prank calls from Joey
Voldemort. Larry King is old.
Studio Layout Tour with Chris: Audience section, desk, Conan's
hidey-hole. Cue cards. The band area has mirrored sides. Control
room. Sound department. Joel Godard's drink booth. Upstairs to
Saturday Night Live?
Host dressing room, host portraits, Studio 8-H, guy ducking out
of the way. Two people on the tour. He can be the host. Band area.
Paper cup from Saturday Night Live? It's yours! They push mail things.
Don't pull the fire alarm. I love you, Conan. Force of Nature!
MSNBC: Conan brings news of Mitt Romney. Introduces Chris from
Saint Louis to Brian Williams. They take pictures.
Run to the cafeteria for food, to bring to the audience.
They're probably calling the police!
Conan didn't see how Chris almost wiped out entirely.
Izabel Goulart:
Gift candy. She flew from Brazil just for this. Conan puts the
briefs on over his pants. ``Take them off!''
When is it too early in a relationship to give lingerie? Or
rubbing oil? We're uptight in this country about breaking-and-entering
and fondling lingerie.
They're not completely naked in Brazil at Carnivale.
She used cartoons to learn English: Woody Woodpecker or Conan.
She fondles Conan's Merv. Can she go running through the building too?
Len Berman:
He used to be in Boston too. New York was more enthusiastic
about the Giants than anyone else.
What about improving football? One defensive player on each
team gets a hidden weapon. (``They do that anyway.'') No helmets, no
pants?
When do they get rid of Mister Met? The Yankees don't have
mascots, or names on back of their shirts.
Sports bloopers. Cheerleaders get nearly hurt. Fans forget to
take the lens cap off. Sportscaster shocked by artillery. Manager
throws the bases away and plays World War II combatant with the
pitcher's mound. Polar bear swimming in Russia. Comparing football
players to political campaigners.
A trainer claims to have Roger Clemens's syringes.
They got a great picture of Conan and Brian Williams from Chris.
They give Chris the valentine pack.
Nada Surf:
Lucky: Whose Authority(?)
--------
8 February 2008 - Peter Fisher, Dr Bob Arnot, Eric Lindell
Max Is:
Possesed of great energy tonight.
Introduction:
Bush is dumb. Force of Nature Dance Troupe. New Jersey stinks.
A giant panda in the San Diego Zoo is pregnant. Conan rips his shirt
off and joins the dancing, spazzily.
Ring spinning: 29 seconds.
Invention: The XK1-2-11G. It's a roving Bessy Lou. This scares
Max, and beeps when he backs up. He charges the camera. Zamboni music!
Conan chases the cameraman out. And it elevates! Up to the rafters!
Conan can change a light bulb. He goes to his people and evicts ones.
``Have some money! And for you, my sweet, this rose.'' Conan will ram
the audience.
Peter Fisher:
He's a physicist, looking for dark matter. Tens of thousands of
dollars are going into it.
Fisher's done calculations on ring-spinning. Why is it losing
energy? It stirs air or it rubs the desk; what's more important?
Initial idea, dimple the ring like a golf ball. 20 x 10^{-8} J/s => air
drag insignificant. R = A C O 2 O, how it slows with friction. Much
work was done by his students and he looked to Wikipedia and Google for
references.
But Freshman physics 802 L02 (Conan's audience leaves) he has,
so he mailed the class. Sent a bit after midnight; 20 responses by
1:30. Two methods: remove as much air from around the ring, which
shouldn't work.
Vacuum chamber: Nutation is to flop around. 17 seconds. He's
always wanted to say nutate.
Lubricants under the ring: Vaseline? His daughter and he found
on their higher-quality kitchen table their Vaseline Intensive Care
Healthy hand and Nail (Conan uses it!), and their findings: the Chrysler
Building and the Transamerica Tower. 30 seconds \pm 10 seconds without;
with Vaseline, 40 seconds \pm 10 seconds.
Richard Feynman. This could be big. How to travel through time
(oh, we've solved that; you can do it, but the universe explodes
afterwards; he was thinking of going back to the Super Bowl). ``Please,
please, the man's wearing glasses, don't hit him.''
Conan makes noise, which is energy. The ring digs a trailin the
Vaseline, and starts finally to nutate. 28 seconds. Another one isn't
so good. Coan loses the ring on another spin. 30 seconds. Conan's
sick of this.
Teflon sheet, the smooth side: Teflon is very slippery. 51
seconds. Force of Nature Dance Troupe! Balloons!
Dr Bob Arnot:
He's in real danger often. They were flying, get a couple
surface-to-air missiles, machine guns, finally their gunner gets
worried. The gunner asks, ``Would you like to take a few rounds?''
With the cameras off, he did. This is his supporting the troops.
How do you get to trouble spots from New York City? Emirates to
Dubai; Terminal 1 is glamorous and supermodern. Terminal 2 is ... for
Kabul, Fallujah, Mogadishu, Baghdad. Plane with the mechanic. It's
black-listed an airline.
Eric Lindell:
Low on Cash, Rich in Love: Lay Back Down
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