Re: Why do people still get married?

"Greg Goss" <gossg@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message 
news:69bjckF32bpc7U2@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> bill van <billvan@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>
>>In article <69b0rnF311of3U1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
>> Greg Goss <gossg@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>
>>> bill van <billvan@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>>
>>> >Dude, you have in no way stopped mourning. Every second post of yours

>>> >(I
>>> >exaggerate, but it seems) is about Wendy. So many things remind you
of
>>> >something you experienced with Wendy. I'm not saying that's wrong,
but
>>> >you have to realize you're not nearly over her. As long as Wendy 
>>> >remains
>>> >the most im****tant thing in your life, there isn't room for a close
>>> >relation****p with anyone else.
>>> >
>>> >A new partner has to be someone with whom you connect because you are
>>> >interested in each other, NOT because you are desperately trying to 
>>> >fill
>>> >the void left by Wendy.
>>>
>>> And a large number of my posts are about a disaster in 1984, and a
>>> bunch of other posts are about my near-bankruptcy in 89 to 91.  I use
>>> im****tant people and events in my life to illustrate points I'm
>>> making.
>>>
>>> I didn't have to throw away my memories of 84 to have a successful
>>> marriage to Wendy.  I don't have to throw away Wendy to have a new one
>>> now.
>>
>>I'm not going to belabour this, Greg, but nobody's saying you have to
>>throw Wendy away.
>
> You're saying that because I talk about Wendy, I'm not ready for
> another person.  But Lisa-Ann can talk about her ex while still being
> ready for Scott.

I think there may be the (mis) perception that because you talk about
Wendy 
a great deal *here*, you might also talk a great deal about her in other 
venues of your life.  Looking back on our phone conversations, I know
that's 
not a true *****sment - the only times I remember talking about Wendy, we 
were already talking about grief and loss.

Then again, there's also the perception that I'm "farther" along in the 
process than you are - I left Eddie 7 years ago, Wendy died 2 years and
some 
months ago.  I think there's an assumption that it's still "too soon" for 
you to have fully integrated her loss into your life. (Not to mention the 
difference between me leaving a bad marriage and you losing a good 
relation****p thru death.)

That's my $.02 and some $5 words for you. :)

Lisa Ann