Re: Why do people still get married?

On Fri, 16 May 2008 04:36:16 -0700 (PDT), General Specific wrote:

>On May 15, 1:25 pm, Peter Ward <m...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>> On Wed, 14 May 2008 10:10:19 -0700 (PDT), General Specific wrote:
>> >On May 9, 11:45 pm, Curse Of Millhaven <millha...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> >wrote:
>>
>> [snip]
>>
>> >Could it be that you're a sociopath?

I don't think he is.  I don't see any reason why you should suggest
that.

>> >Many of us marry and have kids and for us the reasons are obvious.
>> >For us, family is something that is bigger than us.  I would rather
>> >spend time at home with my kids than anything else.
>>
>> For fairness, I have questions for you.

And here are my answers to yours, not that you asked me.

>> >Why is it that you don't have the urge to pair?

Because it doesn't work for me.

>> Why is it that you do have the urge to pair?
>>
>> >Why is it that you are devoid of interpersonal connections?

I don't need them.

>> Why do you have interpersonal connections?  What do you mean by
>> interpersonal connections anyway?
>
>I don't see what fairness has to do with it. I think the drive to pair
>and have a family and to connect with a larger community is normal.

If you're going to ask questions of someone with the suggestion behind
them that they are not normal, then I think you should look to
yourself and realise that what you think of as normal doesn't work for
everybody.

>Those who don't feel connected or want to connect are labeled
>sociopaths.  Sociopaths who take it to the extreme are psychopaths.

Sociopath is another word for psychopath, my dictionary says so.  I've
never seen cause to think that Millhaven is a psychopath.

>I do what I do for the same reason that other people do. I am normal.

Are you sure?

>And no, it's not ***, financial gain, convenience or narcissism as
>others suggested.   I believe that the drive to pair is one of our
>base instincts.

I'm not convinced that pairing is a base instinct, it's more cultural
to my mind.  Neither am I convinced that the consequences of some
instincts are necessarily distinguishable from those of psychopathy.

I don't feel the need to find a partner.  Been there, done that, it
doesn't suit me.  It was societal pressure that made me do it.  In
those days I didn't know enough about myself, or society, to avoid the
trap.

I don't feel the need for what I think you mean by interpersonal
connections.  I have few friends, but make sure they're good ones.  I
don't get involved in cliques and the like; this is, I believe, just
one of the reasons why I'd never make a good manager.

>My ex-wife is mentally ill.  The last seven years were hell.  I loved
>her and tried to get her to get help, but when her acting out went to
>drugs and ***, it was over. After all that, I thought I would never
>want to be married again. I decided at that time that 20 years of
>marrage was enough.

>Long story short, I met a wonderful woman and we are planning to be
>married.  Why?  I dunno...I want to.  Just like most people I guess.

Most people isn't everyone.  I hope you find the happiness you seek,
your way.  Your way isn't my way.

-- 

Peter

I'm an alien
email: groups at asylum dot nildram dot co dot uk
Yes, I know there's a homicidal clown in the sewer!
- groo