Re: Here come Wally and Mary Ellen

Boron Elgar wrote:
> 
> On 9 May 2008 01:20:30 GMT, Dover Beach <moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> wrote:
> 
> >Boron Elgar <boron_elgar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in
> >news:ln7724dsq8maem791djd1lq05skqts8r78@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >
> >> On 9 May 2008 00:41:56 GMT, Dover Beach <moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>>My stepson and his girlfriend are coming for a long weekend.  Last
> >>>time they were here my husband woke me up at 2:00 AM to yell at me
> >>>because I was insufficiently June Cleaver-ish.  So I'm all smiles and
> >>>brownies and simmering rage.  Wish me luck!
> >>
> >>
> >> Um... exactly what were your "duties" supposed to be?
> >>
> >
> >Well, it's not entirely clear.  If it were clear, that would be fair,
> >wouldn't it?  Well, more fair.
> 
> snip
> 
> When they are that age, I think your responsibilities end at providing
> clean linens on the bed and fresh towels in the bathroom. They are
> being flown in and housed. They should be making you dinner or taking
> you out. If that will never happen, take them out to dinner. It's less
> expensive than being treated for high blood pressure.
> 
> His Nibs needs to get a recommendation for a good cleaning service if
> he wants one,  and he has to make sure they get  to the house ahead of
> time. Maybe you should make sure there is a key so the service can
> come in the house.
> 
> >[1] I'm also not supposed to swear.
> 
> Yeah, that's im****tant not to do in front of two college students who
> are ****ing like rabbits without  benefit of clergy and have surely
> never heard anyone swear.
> >
> >[2] Apparently if I ask if him one more time if his client shot a man
in
> >Reno just to watch him die, I'm going to lose im****tant body parts
also.
> 
> Oh, I like that song!
> 
> Ignore the young couple. Honestly. They are not there to see you. They
> are not there to see your husband, likely, either. This is an
> obligatory Daddy Pays The Bills So I Will Go Visit, But For Free And
> With ***. If they can get waited on and catered to, they'll be even
> happier, but you won't be, so don't bother.  They probably will not
> object to such attention, but that doesn't mean you have to do it,
> anyway.
> 
> Housing the kids/college visitors is not like having your Great Aunt
> Sally visit from Omaha. If His Nibs is worrying about his ex, The
> Dragon Lady, getting news that the Denver Hotel isn't 5 stars, mix him
> a martini and remind him how happy he was when he was married to her.
> Assure him that you now understand some of her actions.
> 
> Take comfort in knowing the girlfriend's extreme thinness is setting
> her up for an old age of osteo****osis. Her inability to speak may be a
> blessing. Of course, you can take step-son aside and ask him why she
> doesn't talk. That ought to start a few embers glowing.
> 
> You are in a no-win situation, caught between your husband's unreal
> (and unfair) execrations and a pair of rather typical college
> students.
> 
> I recommend draping a bra or two over the stair rail and bringing in
> KFC on the way home from work. Spicy, extra spicy.
> 
> Really, though, the difficulty here is between you and your husband.
> That is something you have to work out between yourselves. You have no
> more nor less responsibility as a host than he does. If demands are
> being made that you find burdensome and offensive, let him know. Set
> the clock for 3am.
> 
> Boron

You're evil. Just evil. I like that.