Re: Here come Wally and Mary Ellen

On 9 May 2008 01:20:30 GMT, Dover Beach wrote:

>
>
>Boron Elgar <boron_elgar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in
>news:ln7724dsq8maem791djd1lq05skqts8r78@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 
>
>> On 9 May 2008 00:41:56 GMT, Dover Beach <moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> wrote:
>> 
>>>My stepson and his girlfriend are coming for a long weekend.  Last
>>>time they were here my husband woke me up at 2:00 AM to yell at me
>>>because I was insufficiently June Cleaver-ish.  So I'm all smiles and
>>>brownies and simmering rage.  Wish me luck! 
>> 
>> 
>> Um... exactly what were your "duties" supposed to be? 
>> 
>
>Well, it's not entirely clear.  If it were clear, that would be fair,
>wouldn't it?  Well, more fair.  I guess I'm not supposed to slob around
>in pajama bottoms and tee ****rts,

I don't get it.  No one says a word to the moms who drop their kids off in
pajamas at school (The moms in jammies, not the kids).  I haven't done
it...yet...but, what the hell?  Why does he care?


 and I'm not supposed to drink In Front
>Of The Children, 

He's a monster!

and I'm supposed to have dinner (a balanced dinner,
>mind, with a protein, a starch, two vegetables, and bread) on the table
>at 6:00 (not that I'm home before 5:45, and not that Ward is home before
>8:00)

Take out sounds good.

 and I'm supposed to smile and chat even though the girlfriend
>(hereinafter referred to as That Skinny *****, or TSB, you've seriously
>never seen a girl this thin; but that's not the problem, the problem is
>SHE DOESN'T TALK, even in response to DIRECT QUESTIONS) 

Yeah, my husband had an ex-girlfriend like that.  I still hear about her
from
his parents.  They called her "The Ghost".

and I don't
>****ing[1] know what-all.   I guess the house is supposed to be cleaner
>than it is, but guess what, Ward lives here too.  He could clean up.  Am
>I a housewife?  No, Socrates, I ****ing[1] am not.  I work full-time. 
>Don't like the mess?  Clean it the ****[1] up.  

Yeah, no ****ing kidding.

>
>Oh, I just got told that I'm supposed to hide all my exercise clothes
>that I typically leave in a pile in the corner of the living room.  How
>much rent are these kids paying?  None?  And we're paying their air
>fare?  Maybe my exercise clothes can remain in a pile in the corner. No,
>fine, I'll shove them in the hall closet.  

We have the clothes on the back of the couch.  It's not attractive, but I
don't really give a ****.  That's where the boys put their clothes and I'm
not moving them until it's laundry day.

We don't want the family of
>TSB talking about us.  Oh, wait, what if I don't care if her stupid
>judgmental mid-Western family gossips about my not being a good
>housekeeper?  To bad for me, I guess. 
>
>I cleaned up the kitchen, but apparently not enough; I cleaned up the
>guest room -- I got the comforter cover de-cat-haired, yay! I win that
>round.  If Ward wanted this all spiffy he could've skipped the trip to
>Folsom[2] and ****ing[1] stayed home and dealt with it himself, eh? 
>I've been in a goddam[1] rage about this since last Fall when she was
>here last. Ward had better not give me a hard time this time or he's
>going to lose a nut. 
>
>[1] I'm also not supposed to swear.
>
>[2] Apparently if I ask if him one more time if his client shot a man in
>Reno just to watch him die, I'm going to lose im****tant body parts also.

I feel your pain.  I don't get it from my husband, who will happily live
in
filth, but from my MIL.  Housekeeping is just not a priority.  My home is
decent - in fact better than some homes I've been in around here - but I
really don't care about the cobwebs. and the cat fur tumbleweeds.

Nice rant.  I could relate.

-- 
If there's a nuclear winter, at least it'll snow.