Re: Here come Wally and Mary Ellen

On 9 May 2008 01:20:30 GMT, Dover Beach <moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
wrote:

>Boron Elgar <boron_elgar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in
>news:ln7724dsq8maem791djd1lq05skqts8r78@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 
>
>> On 9 May 2008 00:41:56 GMT, Dover Beach <moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> wrote:
>> 
>>>My stepson and his girlfriend are coming for a long weekend.  Last
>>>time they were here my husband woke me up at 2:00 AM to yell at me
>>>because I was insufficiently June Cleaver-ish.  So I'm all smiles and
>>>brownies and simmering rage.  Wish me luck! 
>> 
>> 
>> Um... exactly what were your "duties" supposed to be? 
>> 
>
>Well, it's not entirely clear.  If it were clear, that would be fair,
>wouldn't it?  Well, more fair.  

snip 

When they are that age, I think your responsibilities end at providing
clean linens on the bed and fresh towels in the bathroom. They are
being flown in and housed. They should be making you dinner or taking
you out. If that will never happen, take them out to dinner. It's less
expensive than being treated for high blood pressure. 

His Nibs needs to get a recommendation for a good cleaning service if
he wants one,  and he has to make sure they get  to the house ahead of
time. Maybe you should make sure there is a key so the service can
come in the house.

>[1] I'm also not supposed to swear.

Yeah, that's im****tant not to do in front of two college students who
are ****ing like rabbits without  benefit of clergy and have surely
never heard anyone swear.
>
>[2] Apparently if I ask if him one more time if his client shot a man in
>Reno just to watch him die, I'm going to lose im****tant body parts also.

Oh, I like that song!

Ignore the young couple. Honestly. They are not there to see you. They
are not there to see your husband, likely, either. This is an
obligatory Daddy Pays The Bills So I Will Go Visit, But For Free And
With ***. If they can get waited on and catered to, they'll be even
happier, but you won't be, so don't bother.  They probably will not
object to such attention, but that doesn't mean you have to do it,
anyway.

Housing the kids/college visitors is not like having your Great Aunt
Sally visit from Omaha. If His Nibs is worrying about his ex, The
Dragon Lady, getting news that the Denver Hotel isn't 5 stars, mix him
a martini and remind him how happy he was when he was married to her.
Assure him that you now understand some of her actions.

Take comfort in knowing the girlfriend's extreme thinness is setting
her up for an old age of osteo****osis. Her inability to speak may be a
blessing. Of course, you can take step-son aside and ask him why she
doesn't talk. That ought to start a few embers glowing.

You are in a no-win situation, caught between your husband's unreal
(and unfair) execrations and a pair of rather typical college
students. 

I recommend draping a bra or two over the stair rail and bringing in
KFC on the way home from work. Spicy, extra spicy. 

Really, though, the difficulty here is between you and your husband.
That is something you have to work out between yourselves. You have no
more nor less responsibility as a host than he does. If demands are
being made that you find burdensome and offensive, let him know. Set
the clock for 3am.


Boron