Re: Here come Wally and Mary Ellen

Boron Elgar <boron_elgar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in
news:ln7724dsq8maem791djd1lq05skqts8r78@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 

> On 9 May 2008 00:41:56 GMT, Dover Beach <moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> wrote:
> 
>>My stepson and his girlfriend are coming for a long weekend.  Last
>>time they were here my husband woke me up at 2:00 AM to yell at me
>>because I was insufficiently June Cleaver-ish.  So I'm all smiles and
>>brownies and simmering rage.  Wish me luck! 
> 
> 
> Um... exactly what were your "duties" supposed to be? 
> 

Well, it's not entirely clear.  If it were clear, that would be fair,
wouldn't it?  Well, more fair.  I guess I'm not supposed to slob around
in pajama bottoms and tee ****rts, and I'm not supposed to drink In Front
Of The Children, and I'm supposed to have dinner (a balanced dinner,
mind, with a protein, a starch, two vegetables, and bread) on the table
at 6:00 (not that I'm home before 5:45, and not that Ward is home before
8:00) and I'm supposed to smile and chat even though the girlfriend
(hereinafter referred to as That Skinny *****, or TSB, you've seriously
never seen a girl this thin; but that's not the problem, the problem is
SHE DOESN'T TALK, even in response to DIRECT QUESTIONS) and I don't
****ing[1] know what-all.   I guess the house is supposed to be cleaner
than it is, but guess what, Ward lives here too.  He could clean up.  Am
I a housewife?  No, Socrates, I ****ing[1] am not.  I work full-time. 
Don't like the mess?  Clean it the ****[1] up.  

Oh, I just got told that I'm supposed to hide all my exercise clothes
that I typically leave in a pile in the corner of the living room.  How
much rent are these kids paying?  None?  And we're paying their air
fare?  Maybe my exercise clothes can remain in a pile in the corner. No,
fine, I'll shove them in the hall closet.  We don't want the family of
TSB talking about us.  Oh, wait, what if I don't care if her stupid
judgmental mid-Western family gossips about my not being a good
housekeeper?  To bad for me, I guess. 

I cleaned up the kitchen, but apparently not enough; I cleaned up the
guest room -- I got the comforter cover de-cat-haired, yay! I win that
round.  If Ward wanted this all spiffy he could've skipped the trip to
Folsom[2] and ****ing[1] stayed home and dealt with it himself, eh? 
I've been in a goddam[1] rage about this since last Fall when she was
here last. Ward had better not give me a hard time this time or he's
going to lose a nut. 

[1] I'm also not supposed to swear.

[2] Apparently if I ask if him one more time if his client shot a man in
Reno just to watch him die, I'm going to lose im****tant body parts also.
 
-- 
Dover