dilbert firestorm wrote, in
<iO2dnUVKV9axoL3VnZ2dnUVZ_hSdnZ2d@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
on Tue, 06 May 2008 06:12:11 -0500:
> anyone know what to do handle grief?
>
> my dad died in late February 2008 and my mom misses him and has crying
> spells.
>
> my grandmother who's 93 isn't really helping with my mom handle the
> grief as there is a bit of long running drama between the two. (not
> exactly the favorite daughter one would expect of a mother)
>
> I try my best, but I don't know what to do ease her pain.
>
> does grief counseling be of any help for my mom?
When my wife died I really appreciated the fact that we had five children
who rallied round wonderfully. My elder daughter managed to get home from
LA with her three-week-old son three days before my wife died so she was
able to see her fourth grandchild. She stayed for a month and then took
me off to LA for a few weeks. I think I would have not reacted well to
any attempt at counseling. I am with Kipling on this.
The Comforters
Until thy feet have trod the Road
Advise not wayside folk,
Nor till thy back has borne the Load
Break in upon the broke.
Chase not with undesired largesse
Of sympathy the heart
Which, knowing her own bitterness,
Presumes to dwell apart.
Employ not that glad hand to raise
The God-forgotten head
To Heaven and all the neighbours' gaze --
Cover thy mouth instead.
The quivering chin, the bitten lip,
The cold and sweating brow,
Later may yearn for fellow****p --
Not now, you ass, not now!
Time, not thy ne'er so timely speech,
Life, not thy views thereon,
Shall furnish or deny to each
His consolation.
Or, if impelled to interfere,
Exhort, uplift, advise,
Lend not a base, betraying ear
To all the victim's cries.
Only the Lord can understand,
When those first pangs begin,
How much is reflex action and
How much is really sin.
E'en from good words thyself refrain,
And tremblingly admit
There is no anodyne for pain
Except the shock of it.
So, when thine own dark hour shall fall,
Unchallenged canst thou say:
"I never worried you at all,
For God's sake go away!"
--
Nick Spalding
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