On Tue, 06 May 2008 06:12:11 -0500, dilbert firestorm
<scanb31@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>anyone know what to do handle grief?
>
>my dad died in late February 2008 and my mom misses him and has crying
>spells.
>
>my grandmother who's 93 isn't really helping with my mom handle the
>grief as there is a bit of long running drama between the two. (not
>exactly the favorite daughter one would expect of a mother)
>
>I try my best, but I don't know what to do ease her pain.
>
>does grief counseling be of any help for my mom?
My sympathies to you and your mother.
There is no correct way to grieve. Each of us does it differently.
Some may be helped by counseling, sup****t groups or speaking with a
religious advisor, others find the comfort of friends and family
sufficient, some are almost inconsolable for a time.
This is early in the process for your mom, though - it only happened
two months ago, and crying at this point is not unusual. Only is she
seems not to function on a day-to-day basis should there be cause for
worry.
If you have the sort of relation****p with you mother within which you
can share memories of your dad, it may help her, and you, too, cope
better with the loss. You may not be able to ease her pain, though.
Only time can do that, and it takes longer for some than for others.
Obviously, if her own mother is contributing to the discomfort rather
than helping ease it, it can be a problem. If your mother is her
caregiver, it is even more complicated.
My mom had a very good relation****p with her own mother, and when my
grandmother died, my mom wept openly every morning for about a year.I
remember this vividly, as my mom would braid my long hair each day and
something about that triggered memories that caused the sorrow to
break through.
It can be quite traumatic to lose someone one loves and it is not
unnatural to feel deep sadness. Talk to her when you can, ask her
directly if there is anything you can do to help, and make sure she is
getting by. If you see any signs of deep depression and withdrawal,
then outside intervention may become very necessary, but this soon
after the loss, even that is not untoward behavior for awhile.
Boron
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