Dover Beach (moon.blanched@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
) wrote:
> Me: Sweetheart, my job is not to explain legal trusts to you. Can
> I talk to someone else?
Did you really call the person "sweetheart"? Was the rep male or
female?
Here, I'll take you on a tour of my recent customer service
experience that has a happy ending. It's very long. But I'm bored
and don't feel like working.
The girl's desk chair recently broke. The gas lifter that raises and
lowers the chair threw a rod. The rod sticks out the bottom of the
chair and gouges the carpet. I go to Office Max and pick out a new
one. I'm at the checkout paying for it.
Ca****er: Would you like to add a MaxxAssure 3-year warranty to the
chair for just $5.99.
Me: [Bells are going off in the back of my head] That sounds
familiar. I think I was offered that when I bought the last chair.
Can you look me up to see if I have a policy.
Ca****er: Nope. You can look it up online at home if you want.
Me: Ok. I guess I'll still buy the chair I can always return it. But
no thanks on the warranty.
Later that day, I look in the file cabinet. Sure enough, I bought
the warranty. I have a file folder with the warranty, the receipt,
and a copy of the email they sent me confirming that I registed the
warranty online.
So I go to the online site mentioned in the email. I enter in the
user name and password that I'd scribbled on the email copy. Hey,
whaddya know? There I am. There's the three chairs I got warranties
for. I click on the one that belongs to the girl and choose "File a
Claim".
On the claim filing page, they want to know what part of the chair
is damaged. There is no choice that allows me to say the gas lift is
the problem. I choose "Broken Knob, Guide or Part" on the grounds
that it is a broken part and nothing else comes close to describing
the problem. There's also a field for a brief explanation, so I
explain what the actual problem is.
I click Submit and immediately get this message.
Invalid Claim request.
We're sorry but we're unable to process your request at this time.
Please refer to the information below. If you feel this denial is an
error, please click on Contact Us.
The selected product failure is not covered by this plan. Please
refer to the plan terms and conditions for details. For the location
of an authorized service center in your area, please contact the
manufacturer directly.
NUMARK: 800-XXX-XXXX
What? Does the warranty not cover broken knobs or something? I go
back. I try to file the claim again, choosing a different problem. I
forget which one. The claim is again denied.
I click on "Contact Us" as they suggest. There is nothing in the
drop-down list that describes why I'm contacting them. That doesn't
bode well.
So I pick up the phone and call the number that they listed. I stay
on the line a long time because they have a high volume of callers.
After a while, there's a change to the background status and I
suspect I've been disconnected. Yep. Sure enough. I call the number
again and this time select the option to leave a callback number.
Two days go by.
I go back to the web site and use the "Contact Us" page to email
them my problem.
On a whim, I try the phone number again. This time I get a live
human being. I explain my problem.
Rep: So ... what product did you want to order?
Me: I don't want to order a product. I want to have one replaced or
repaired under warranty.
Rep: What's the name of the product?
Me: It's a Numark OM-209.
Rep: [typety type] That's not a complete product number.
Me: That's the number I have.
Rep: It's not one of ours, then.
Me: I have the warranty number. Will that help?
Rep: It's not our product.
Me: But this is the number the web site told me to call.
Rep: It's not one of ours. Try 866-YYY-YYYY
Me: [Sigh] K Thx by.
I dial 866-YYY-YYYY
Me: I'm trying to get a product repaired or replaced under warranty.
Rep2: Ok, what's the product number?
Me: [Sigh] It's a Numark Chair OM-209. The warranty number is
1234567.
Rep2: [Typety type] We don't carry the warranty for that product.
Me: It's a chair I bought at Office Max. Do you not handle those
warranties?
Rep2: We handles some Office Max warranties, but not that one. You
should call Office Max's warranty department.
Me: I thought that's who I was talking to.
Rep2: No. We just handle some of their warranties.
Me: Ok. How do I get in touch with Office Max's warranty department.
Rep2: Call 800-ZZZ-ZZZZ.
Me: [breathes a sigh of relief that at least that number is
different from the first one I called] K thx by.
So I call 800-ZZZ-ZZZZ
Me: Hi. I'm trying to get a chair repaired or replaced under
warranty and this is the third telephone number I've been given and
I can't seem to find anyone who can help me.
Office Max Rep: Is this a MaxxAssure warranty?
Me: Yes. And I went online to try to file a claim but the claim was
denied.
OMRep: Where did you go online?
Me: I went to www.repairnow.com/officemax
OMRep: That doesn't sound like the right web site. Why did you go
there?
Me: Because that was the web site I was directed to by an email I
received from Office Max when I registered the warranty online.
OMRep: That's strange. I've never heard of that site.
Me: Ok, well that's the address OfficeMax gave me. I'm just trying
to figure out how to get this warranty honored.
OMRep: [senses tension in my voice and goes into hostage negotiation
mode] I'm sure we can help you. I just need to connect you with
someone in our warranty department. Let me put you on hold for a
moment.
Me: Ok. [At least she knew better than to try giving me yet another
number to call. Time elapses while the Office Max lady explains to
the warranty department that she's about to connect them with a
potential deranged killer]
OMRep2: Hello, this is the warranty department
Me: Yes, I'm trying to get a chair repaired or replaced under a
MaxxAssure warranty.
OMRep2: I can help you with that.
[She gets my information and plugs it into her computer. She finds
my warranty. Yay!]
OMRep2: Ok, Mr. Penguin. We'll be sending you an OfficeMax gift card
for $79.99. Keep the chair until you receive the card and then
dispose of the chair as you see fit.
Me: Thank you very much. [Score! I bought the chair on sale for $49.99.
Of course, if I'd paid full price, I'd be eating the tax plus the cost
of the warranty.]
OMRep2: Now, Mr. Penguin, have I addressed all your concerns to your
complete satisfaction?
Me: [eyeing the chair I'm sitting in and realizing it is also under
warranty] Well ... I do have this other chair under warranty that could
use repair.
OMRep2: Ok, what's the problem with that chair?
Me: The fabric is torn on both arms so that I can see the stuffing and
framework underneat.
OMRep2: [typety type] All right, Mr. Penguin. I will also be issuing
you an OfficeMax gift card for $99.99.
Me: [Cool! I got this one on sale for $89.99] Thank you very much.
OMRep2: Mr. Penguin, have I addressed all your concerns to your
complete satisfaction?
Me: Yes indeedy!
I wouldn't have even thought to ask for a warranty repair on my chair
if I hadn't had to jump through so many hoops to get the other chair
taken care of. So all that misdirection paid off!
Now, of course, I'll continue to use my office chair, torn arms and
all. And I found out I don't need the new chair I bought at Office Max
after all. I had an old chair with a broken back and its perfectly good
bottom matched up with the perfectly good top of La Penguinita's chair.
So I've got $169.98 to spend at Office Max and as many chairs in just
as good condition as when I started out.
--
Opus the Penguin
Most of us don't store much fat in our heads. - bill van
|
