Re: PING nelohT: Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, April 2008

Art Deco <erfc-1024@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> writes:

> :nelohT

Still suffering from attribution problems, Deco?

>>> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <wrangler@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:

>>>> <music>
>>>> "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54ynmUPZ5c
>>>> </music>
>>>> 
>>>> The time has come to announce the winners of the April 2008 Usenet
>>>> Kook Awards.  Envelopes, please!
>>>> 
>>>> *drumroll*
>>>> 
>>>> BOBO AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winners are...BRANDON AND AMBER HERBERT...
>>>>  
>>>> Brandon and Amber Herbert
>>>> 
>>>>  17 votes  YES
>>>>  02 votes  NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Herbert.  It was only a matter of time
before 
>>>> kookery from Craigslist earned an award here on AUK, and you two
pulled it 
>>>> off, even if you didn't succeed in covering up the original crime. 
BTW, be 
>>>> prepared to say hi to "A Living Christ" while you are serving your
time.  
>>>> He might come visiting!
>>>> 
>>>>  AND...RAUNI!
>>>> 
>>>>  Jeanette "Rauni" Runyon
>>>> 
>>>>  19 votes  YES
>>>>  01 votes  NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Rauni.  Your propensity for kookery has long been 
>>>> suspected, but it's astoni****ng that you confirmed it in such a big
way.
>>>> 
>>>> KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...LADY VETERAN!
>>>> 
>>>>  16 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>>>>  08 votes Greg "Greegor" Hanson
>>>>  00 votes Neither of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Lady Veteran!  In a battle of the former also-rans
for 
>>>> this award, you pulled off a big win against a fellow who displays
his 
>>>> kookery on AUK nearly every day, while you only rarely posted yours
to AUK.
>>>> 
>>>> Stay right here.  The next two awards are yours, as well.
>>>> 
>>>> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...LADY VETERAN!
>>>> 
>>>>  16 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>>>>  07 votes Anthony X
>>>>  00 votes Neither of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations a second time, LV!  Your cluelessness about
appropriate 
>>>> behavior on USENET defeated someone who went on a crusade to get a
poster's 
>>>> Google Groups account nuked when the poster doesn't even post out of
Google 
>>>> Groups.  It's difficult to top that, but you did!
>>>> 
>>>> COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...LADY VETERAN!
>>>> 
>>>>  15 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>>>>  09 votes David Tholen
>>>>  01 votes Neither of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations a final time, LV!  Your propensity for real-lifing
your 
>>>> opponents has earned you a sweep of the top three monthly core
awards, 
>>>> which may be unprecidented and means that you have gone from a
non-winner 
>>>> to hitting the big time in one month.  Also, it means that you will
be on 
>>>> the Kooks of the Year ballot next January four times.  Do you have a 
>>>> website?  You could be on it a fifth time, too.

>>> Ah well, you were beaten by a heavyweight kook who took the top three
>>> awards this month.  Chin up, old-man!  I'm sure you'll be post-editing
>>> more typos and then lying about them in the future, as well as
deleting
>>> yourself from attributions.  Oh by the way -- got the cajones to post
>>> the second line of that quote of which you are so fond?

>> What does your question have to do with college basketball, Deco?

Note:  no response.

>>>> JOSEPH BARTLO MEMORIAL PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DAVID THOLEN!
>>>> 
>>>>  12 votes David Tholen
>>>>  08 votes Anthony X
>>>>  02 votes Neither of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Dr. Tholen!  For as award-winning a net-personality
as you 
>>>> are (by the time this ceremony is finished, you'll have 18 awards
from AUK, 
>>>> as well as several from AFA-B; furthermore, last month marked the
10th 
>>>> anniversary of your winning Kook of the Month), it is surprising that
you 
>>>> have never won the entry-level PAP award.  Since I am a firm believer
that 
>>>> all kooks should have at least one op****tunity to win all the awards
for 
>>>> which they are eligible, I am pleased that you earned this honor. 
However, 
>>>> you are now so overqualified for this award that I declare you
ineligible 
>>>> to run for it any more.  Enjoy the company of Chuckles and St00pid!

>>> Yes, typing "classic erroneous presupposition" over and over is
>>> pathetic, nelohT.  Along with just about everything else do on usenet.

>> How ironic, coming from someone who keeps typing "nelohT" over and
over,
>> despite the fact that there is nobody in this newsgroup using that
alias.

Note:  no response.

>>>> TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DOUGLAS GRANT!
>>>> 
>>>>  12 votes Douglas Grant
>>>>  08 votes Daniel Joseph Min
>>>>  05 votes David Tholen
>>>>  00 votes None of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Doogie!  Your long history of melting down,
extending back 
>>>> to your wails of protestation over the results of the 
>>>> rec.gambling.blackjack.moderated election a decade ago, has finally
been 
>>>> recognized.

>>> Squashed.  Better luck next time.

>> What does the fact that your so-called "nomination" got squashed have
>> do to with college basketball, Deco?

Note:  no response.

>>>> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...
>>>> 
>>>>  "Morgellons Is A Man-Made Silicon Based Life Form" by Alexa Cameron
>>>> 
>>>>  23 votes YES
>>>>  00 votes NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Alexa!  After a two-year hiatus, you have won your
fifth 
>>>> VVFWS Award with a weird science idea of striking originality.  If
only 
>>>> your fertile imagination could synthesize ideas that would actually
survive 
>>>> controlled experiments and peer review, the world really would be a
better 
>>>> place!

>>> Hi, Alexa!

>> What does that have to do with college basketball, Deco?

Note:  no response.

>>>> DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...
>>>> 
>>>>  "Revisionist claims about Galileo" by John Wentzky
>>>> 
>>>>  21 votes YES
>>>>  01 votes NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, John-boy!  You started off making a weird science
claim, 
>>>> but it was really just a demonstration of cluelessness about history
above 
>>>> and beyond the usual ignorance by a net-kook.  No matter.  Kooky
ideas 
>>>> deserve proper recognition.
>>>> 
>>>> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...ONIDEUS MAD HATTER!
>>>> 
>>>>  13 votes Matthew "Diaperboi" Moulton AKA Onideus Mad Hatter
>>>>  08 votes Bobbi Sanchez AKA Lady Veteran
>>>>  04 votes John Wentzky
>>>>  00 votes None of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Malkavian!  You earned this for multiple campaigns
this 
>>>> month, but the most memorable was that on behalf of your employers. 
It 
>>>> might actually have been effective, had you not done it in front of
people 
>>>> who know you well enough that, had you told them the sun would rise 
>>>> tomorrow, they would consult an almanac to make sure.  In the
meantime, 
>>>> enjoy this video.
>>>> 
>>>> <video>
>>>> "WAL-MART: The High Cost of Low Price -- teaser trailer"
>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiSmlmXp-aU
>>>> </video>
>>>> 
>>>> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DAVID THOLEN!
>>>> 
>>>>  12 votes David Tholen
>>>>  11 votes Daniel Joseph Min
>>>>  00 votes Neither of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations!  Your repetitiously robotic responses helped you eke
out a 
>>>> slim victory for you as "the lamest of the lame on USENET" over
someone who 
>>>> virtual stench is more like that of a rotting corpse than a busted
urinal.  
>>>> It has also earned you a new nickname--Doctor Robotnik.  Enjoy your
new 
>>>> handle and watch out for fast-moving hedgehogs!

>>> Yeah, you are lame, nelohT.

>> Who is "nelohT", Deco?  There is nobody in this newsgroup using that
>> alias.

Note:  no response.

>>> The unabashed and unashamed champion of the IKYABWAI, and the "still
>>> beating your wife?" loaded question.

>> A reference to yourself is non sequitur, Deco.

Note:  no response.

>>> You
>>> beat out Usenet's most notorious pseudoscience kook who has found his
>>> way into the highest number of killlfiles on record -- think about it.

>> On what basis do you claim to know the contents of other people's
>> killfiles, Deco?

Note:  no response.

>>> Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention the infamous nelohT typo pounce.

>> Who is "nelohT", Deco?  There is nobody in this newsgroup using that
>> alias.

Note:  no response.

>>>> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DANIEL JOSEPH MIN!
>>>> 
>>>>  10 votes Daniel Joseph Min
>>>>  09 votes John Wentzky
>>>>  04 votes Johnny Wizard
>>>>  02 votes None of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Minnie Mouse!  You beat out a tough field full of 
>>>> notorious screeders by a nose, demonstrating that persistence and 
>>>> weirdness, as well as "anonymously" spamming multiple groups, pay
off.  
>>>> Don't leave, as the next one is yours, too.
>>>> 
>>>> 72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DANIEL JOSEPH MIN!
>>>> 
>>>>  Daniel Joseph Min
>>>> 
>>>>  21 votes YES
>>>>  00 votes NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, again, Minnie Mouse!  While your theological views
about 
>>>> atheists and the end times aren't particularly unique, they are both 
>>>> notorious and extreme.  They've also been embellished by your
attempts to 
>>>> combine your interpretation of Revelations with tarot, astrology, and
the 
>>>> predictions of Nostradamus, resulting in some truly ridiculous
predictions 
>>>> that have missed the mark by miles.  Next stop, the Looney Maroon!
>>>> 
>>>> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DAVID THOLEN!
>>>> 
>>>>  David Tholen
>>>> 
>>>>  18 votes YES
>>>>  02 votes NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations a third and final time this month, Doctor Robotnik! 
As 
>>>> much as it personally pains me to give this award to as august a
scientist 
>>>> as you, your online behavior really does fit the pattern of someone
who has 
>>>> "lost more marbles than a Chinese Checker factory."

>>> Well-deserved, and long overdue.  nelohT believes that replying with
>>> the question "what does that have to do with OS/2?" automatically
makes
>>> his off-topic digests on-topic.

>> Who is "nelohT", Deco?  There is nobody in this newsgroup using that
>> alias.

Note:  no response.

>>> He's also managed to convince himself
>>> that I believe I'm God.

>>   "Art Deco, wor****pped by net.ko0ks all around Usenet."
>>      --Art Deco

Note:  no response.

>>> And for quite a while after he won the
>>> prestigious GK, he was enamored with the line "so much for your golden
>>> killfile, Deco."

>> It takes a kook to revel in his own cluelessness the way you do, Deco.

Note:  no response.

>>>> BALSA GAVEL
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...DOUGLAS GRANT!
>>>> 
>>>>  Douglas Grant
>>>> 
>>>>  22 votes YES
>>>>  00 votes NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Doogie!  Your long history of hauling your online 
>>>> adversaries into court has finally been recognized, making you the
first 
>>>> winner of this rarely presented award since Tim Bolen won it for
September 
>>>> 2006, the first month I counted the ballot and announced the winners.
 Now, 
>>>> don't bang the award on the table--it might shatter on you!
>>>> 
>>>> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...
>>>> 
>>>>  10 votes Robert "Mop Jockey" Wolfe, trained by Cujo de Sockpuppet
>>>>  09 votes Matthew "Diaperboi" Moulton AKA Onideus Mad Hatter,
>>>>           trained by Meat Plow
>>>>  01 votes Neither of the above
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Unixd0rk!  This is twice now that you've played
games with 
>>>> domain names to honor your trainers.  Do you have any more stupid net

>>>> tricks for us (tinu)?  Also, congratulations to Cujo, for gaining a
new pet 
>>>> to replace his deceased one and training them both so well that they
served 
>>>> as the first two AUK Mascots.

>>> mop jockey *hates* being ignored.

>> What does that have to do with college basketball, Deco?

Note:  no response.

>>>> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...MEAT->PLOW!
>>>> 
>>>>  "Luring the Net-Dead Lurkers" by Meat->Plow
>>>> 
>>>>  18 votes YES
>>>>  03 votes NO
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Meat->Plow!  This award recognizes not only this 
>>>> particular instance of worthy trolling, but all of the trolling in
which 
>>>> you have engaged since the award you shared with Buzzard four years
ago.
>>>> 
>>>> All Hail Meat->Plow, for he hace much grateness!!!1!!
>>>> 
>>>> KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...
>>>> 
>>>>  17 votes Pamela Russell
>>>>  04 votes Donald Alford AKA Wizard of Odds
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations again, Fangirlfriend!  Your talent for spewing 
>>>> misinformation on behalf of your clay-footed, one-gloved idol led you
to an 
>>>> easy defeat of a first-time opponent.  Keep up the good work!
>>>> 
>>>> MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...NAZICOWARDS OF SOC.CULTURE.ISRAEL!
>>>> 
>>>>  12 votes Nazicowards of soc.culture.israel
>>>>  08 votes Bert "Bertrude" Hoff and Scott "Schattie" Abraham
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, anti-semitic wankers!  You have twice defeated very
stong 
>>>> opposition, first by dethroning the B8MBies and then fending off a 
>>>> challenge by one of the longest-running circle jerks on USENET.  I
never 
>>>> know a shared hatred could be such an aphrodesiac!
>>>> 
>>>> OFFICE OF ILLUCIDUS MAXIMUS
>>>> 
>>>>  The winner is...
>>>> 
>>>>  15 votes Jeff Relf 
>>>>  09 votes Colonel Jake
>>>> 
>>>> Congratulations, Relf the Illucid!  May your tenure in office be as
long as 
>>>> you are incomprehensible.

>>> Hi, Jeff<glyph>Relf!  Have you smoked your hand-rolled newsreader yet?

>> What does that have to do with college basketball, Deco?

Note:  no response.

>>>> This concludes the announcement of the winners of the April 2008
>>>> Usenet Kook Awards.  Thirty-three people submitted thirty-three 
>>>> ballots, all of which were ruled to be valid, although two of them
required 
>>>> acts of unusual mercy on the part of the FNVW, which were granted
because 
>>>> the violations were minor and the result of minor stupidity, not 
>>>> intentional cheating.  Consequently, for the fifth consecutive
election, 
>>>> all were counted.  First, a kook sweeps the top three awards, then
this.  
>>>> 
>>>> See you all very shortly, as the call for nominations for the AUK
Mascot 
>>>> goes out in a few days.  Also, I might get around to the AFA-B
elections, 
>>>> as I have been promising for two months.  Any bets that I'll get it
done 
>>>> before Memorial Day?  Until then, hail Fluffy and may Bob have mercy
on 
>>>> your souls!
>>>> 
>>>> And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big
individual
>>>> w(h)inner--Lady Veteran!
>>>> 
>>>> <music>
>>>> "Pinky and The Brain, 'Brainstem'"
>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snO68aJTOpM
>>>> </music>

>>> Well done, FNVW!

>> Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.  He "wrangled" a paltry
>> 25 voters from you and your fellow kooks, Deco.  Well, it's good to
know
>> that the kook population isn't rapidly expanding.

> Now that was a proper acceptance speech.  Bravo!

Classic erroneous presupposition.  I see that you ran away from several
pieces of evidence of your kookery, Deco.  No surprise there, really.

> -- 
> "Substantiation that you regard yourself as a God to be worhsipped [sic]
> should be your concern, Deco."
>   -- David Tholen
  
Classic kookery on your part, Deco:

   "Out-of-context quotes in your boilerplate spam, Davie,   
   how kooky."                                               
      --Art Deco