Alas, nothing new in Al's head.
In article <dac7f1$559$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
Albert Silverman <slvrmn@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>The Tortoise:
>
> Excuse me, but I'm a little slow to grasp this vital theoretical
> concept. Can anyone tell me the meaning of "tonal" and "atonal"
> music?
>
>The Hatter:
>
> Certainly. According to my friend Noah (and he should know if
> anyone does), tonal means "of or pertaining to tone". That is,
> tonal music is music that contains tones.
>
> Noah also tells me that atonal means "not tonal." Thus atonal
> music is music that does not contain tones. And then there is
"modal"
> music, which obviously does not therefore contain tones. Simple!
>
>Alice:
>
> Nonsense! All *real* music contains tones. Everyone knows that.
>
> To answer your question, tonal music was invented by an Ancient
> Sorcerer for a very specific purpose. Waving his Magic Wand, he
> proclaimed that tonal means anything that anyone wants it to mean.
> Therefore it is meaningless! Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
>
> Due to this Ancient stroke of brilliance, those who do not
understand
> music theory (like Perfessers and Music Teachers, to name a few) can
> demonstrate their mastery of this subject, thereby impressing and
> intimidating those who might otherwise be in grave danger of
learning
> something relevant about music theory. But faced with the forbidding
> challenge of understanding the Perfessorial meaning of "tonal,"
there
> is absolutely no danger that this will ever happen. Brilliant.
> Absolutely brilliant.
>
>The King:
>
> Thank you so very much, my dear Alice. You are truly a genius--for a
> Little Girl, of course. I knew that there had to be a reason why I
> could never understand the meaning of tonal. At long last, now I
> understand why I don't understand.
>
>The Queen:
>
> But don't admit it, dear; it's bad form. If you do, you'll never get
> the respect that you so richly deserve. So stick to your politeness
> pitch; it will win you a lot more friends than trying to understand
> unimportant things like music theory, which is hardly your cup of
> tea. You are wearing a Crown, not a Hat.
>
> After all, the real purpose of this discussion is to practice being
> polite, not to keep repeating the same nonsensical stuff over and
> over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
> and over and over and over and..........
>
>The Frog:
>
> It sounds like the record is broken.
>
> As soon as I figure out whether my glass is half full or half empty,
> I'll croak to that!
>
>
>-----------------------------
>Albert Silverman
>(Al is in Wonderland!)
>where relevance is irrelevant
>(06)
--
Matthew H. Fields http://www.umich.edu/~fields
Music: Splendor in Sound
To be great, do better and better. Don't wait for talent: no such thing.
Brights have a naturalistic world-view. http://www.the-brights.net/
|
